Thursday, October 13, 2016

Thorsday Thoughts - TV Time, Horror Writing, The Thing and The Return of the "VS." Movie!

Happy Thorsday!

How goes it, true believers? This just in: I watch too much television. I was behind before, but now that Fall is here, there are new seasons of THE FLASH, SUPERGIRL, AMERICAN HORROR STORY and MARVEL'S AGENTS OF SHIELD to contend with. Oh, and a little series called WESTWORLD. And THE WALKING DEAD is due back any day now! How am I ever going to get around to GAME OF THRONES at this rate?  First world problems, for sure.

My horror writing continues.  My latest Pop Horror articles include:

* Kathy Bates Receives Hollywood Walk of Fame Star
* It's Stephen King's Birthday! Celebrate With A Netflix Binge!
* New Friday The 13th Delayed (Again) At Paramount
* Sheri Moon Zombie Turns 46!
* SyFy's 31 Days of Halloween Schedule Announced
* Adrienne Barbeau To Receive Lifetime Achievement Award
* Wes Craven's Deadly Friend Turns 30!
* Donald Trump PhotoShopped Into Classic Horror Movies!

Fun stuff!  You should bookmark and visit frequently. They have some great writers over there and new horror news and features every day!

I ordered a copy of the Shout Factory Collector's Edition of my favorite movie of all time: John Carpenter's THE THING!

I'm so excited! It will be in hand in time for Halloween. I think it deserves a special screening on my new(ish) 4K HDTV! The special features are amazing and I hear the audio has never sounded better. A new Blu-ray Special Edition of WAXWORK and WAXWORK II is also coming out this month. It's a bit pricey, but I think it will make a great birthday present...for myself!  :)

I saw this meme floating around and it really got me thinking...

Let's bring back the vs. movies!  FREDDY VS. JASON was fun!  BRIAN MILLS VS. MICHAEL MYERS sounds amazing!  How about after JOHN WICK 2 we get JOHN WICK VS. JASON VOORHEES?  Seriously, I'd pay big money for that!  JASON BOURNE VS. FREDDY KRUEGER?  JACK REACHER VS. LEATHERFACE?  These movies write themselves!

That's all for now.  Happy Halloween (if I don't post before then)!

Tuesday, September 27, 2016

The 10 Greatest Cereals Of All Time! For The Glory of Quisp!

I was listening to the radio on the way to work today and Johnny Danger from 94.1 WJJO was talking about a survey that voted for the greatest cereals of all time.  He starts out with LIFE at #97 and works his way up through APPLE JACKS at #40 and FROOT LOOPS at #38.  Then he starts talking about the Monster Cereals at #30, #27 and #17.  He rattles off a chunk of the Top 10 and then says "Guess what Number 1 is?"


I pump my fist and yell "YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!" at my radio when he says "QUISP!"  The greatest cereal of all time...OF ALL TIME!  Man, I loved that stuff.  My dad and my stepmother used to buy it for my brother and when we visited them on the weekends as kids and I'm pretty sure we killed an entire box, at least, every week.  It was so amazingly badass.  It's like CAP'N CRUNCH without the total roof of your mouth destruction that comes with it.

So, it's a good list.  A "Tremendous" list, if you listen to Donald Trump. They got #1 right at least.  It got me thinking about my favorite cereals.  After much deliberation (and countless thousands of boxes of cereal consumed in my youth), here they are...the Top 10 Cereals of All Time!

My profound apologies to TRIX , APPLE JACKS, LUCKY CHARMSGRAPE NUTS and HONEY BUNCHES OF OATS, which all narrowly missed my list.

#10 - FRANKENBERRY - No disrespect to COUNT CHOCULA or BOO BERRY (or even YUMMY MUMMY), but this is my favorite Monster Cereal. I love drinking the strawberry milk from the bowl at the end!

#9 - SUPER SUGAR CRISP/SUPER GOLDEN CRISP - I guess at some point it became politically incorrect to call out a cereal for what it is: pure sugar.  That's when the name changed to SUPER GOLDEN CRISP.  A shout out here to SUGAR SMACKS, which are essentially the same thing.  I "Dig 'Em!"

#8 - C3POs - C3PO is not my favorite STAR WARS character.  Not by a mile.  In fact, he kinda sucks.  Regardless, I have fond memories of eating these in the 1980's at my friend John's house.  We loved them.  Many boxes destroyed on the weekends.  I wish they still made this stuff...

#7 - COOKIE CRISP - Yum.  I could eat a box of these in one sitting, I swear. They've had a ton of mascots over the years.  Check this out:

#6 - CINNAMON TOAST CRUNCH - Sugar overload!  Delicious.  Ditto eating a whole box in one sitting.  This stuff is ridiculous.  God damn it!  I have the commercial jingle in my head now!

#5 - HONEY NUT CHEERIOS - Classic.  My son loves it.  My wife loves it.  Good luck keeping a box in the house for very long.  I could do without the mascot, though.  I hate bees.

#4 - GOLDEN GRAHAMS - Yummmmmmm!  I love me some GOLDEN GRAHAMS.  There's a fine timing involved in eating these where the milk has started to soak in, but the grahams haven't gotten soggy yet.  It's an art, really.

#3 - CRACKLIN' OAT BRAN - How the hell did this cereal not even chart on that Top 100 list?  Sure, it looks and sounds like Old People Cereal(TM), but it's not.  It's fantastic!  I'm craving some now.  I might have to go buy some over lunch.

#2 - CAP'N CRUNCH PEANUT BUTTER - The classic.  The standby.  Probably the cereal I had most often growing up.  We always had a box in the house, it seemed.  I think my mom must have stopped and bought a box every night after work before coming home.  She was the greatest.  LOVE YOU, MOM!

P.S. The balloon racer on this box was amazeballs!

#1 - QUISP - I own a QUISP wrist watch.  I'm not even joking.  This stuff is the bomb.  I'm happy to say that even though the cereal was discontinued in the late 70's or early 80's, they still sell this stuff online at!

I think it may be time to introduce my son to the glory...

Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Beware...I LIVE!

Run!  Run!  Run!

Yes, kiddies, much like my old pal SINISTAR, I LIVE!  Gosh, it's been forever since I updated this Blog.  Where do I start?

My "Only Watch Movies I Haven't Seen" Challenge from 2015 was mostly a success.  I think I made it to September before I realized I was punishing myself more than I was doing something worthwhile.  On the bright side, I did watch a ton of new things and it was an interesting learning experience.

I got a new job.  I moved back to Wisconsin from Texas.  I survived my first Winter back in The Frozen Tundra.  The 2nd Winter is imminent.  That's how long it's been...

I haven't been writing much, but that's about to change.  I took a side gig writing for!

It's only been a few weeks, but it has given me a chance to flex the old (atrophied) writing muscles again!  The articles I've published for them so far include:

Yes, so far I'm getting a reputation as "The Birthday Guy," but don't worry.  I have a bunch of cool ideas for articles and features that I'll be writing over the next few months.  Check back soon!

I Hunger...

Monday, February 16, 2015

UPDATE: The "Only Watch Movies You've Never Seen In 2015" Challenge

I'm two months in to this new year and so far I've kept my pledge to only watch films I've never seen before in 2015.  It's been difficult, in some ways, but I think the fact that being the father of a toddler has me watching less movies in general, so it's not the arduous torture I originally thought it was going to be.

This past weekend was pretty tough, though.  I have a longstanding tradition of watching FRIDAY THE 13th films on Friday the 13th and this year I wasn't able to.  I had to settle for watching a FRIDAY fan film on YouTube.

I honestly can't see I would recommend it, but at least the tradition was somewhat kept alive...and fairly.

Valentine's Day was tough, too, because I generally watch MY BLOODY VALENTINE or the MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3-D remake on February 14th.  Nope.  No dice.  I did, however, manage to watch a couple of old animated Disney movies that I'd surprisingly never seen because they were running on Disney channel over the weekend.

There's a website I found called Letterboxd that allows you to review and rate and track the movies you watch and I've been keeping a log there.

You can check out my Letterboxd profile at:

It's a pretty nifty website.  I recommend it.

Monday, January 12, 2015

The "Only Watch Movies You've Never Seen...In 2015" Challenge!

At some point in late 2014, I realized how much time I spend sitting on the couch watching movies that I've already seen before.  It really doesn't matter what time of the day or night TOMBSTONE or DIE HARD or ALIENS or GOODFELLAS comes on, if I flip past it, I'm probably going to watch it.  But should I?  I can quote nearly every word of these films, verbatim.  Do I really need to watch them again?

That got me thinking...

What if I forced myself to only watch movies I haven't seen before?  Can it be done?  I decided to find out...

It's January 12th, 2015 and so far I haven't watched a single movie that I've seen before.  Believe it or not, it's already been pretty tough.

For the first few days of the year, I was traveling.  Did a lot of driving.  Saw family.  Enjoyed the holidays.  I avoided temptation.  Once I got back to Houston, though, I decided to see if I was up to the challenge.  I rented THE EQUALIZER.  I really enjoyed it.  One new, unseen movie down.  How many to go?

 [ Criminals Beware of Old Guys Working At Home Depot ]

This past weekend, DirecTV turned on all of its movie channels for free.  All of them.  ALL of them.  Thank God the NFL Playoffs were on.  So many movies.  So many I'd seen before.  On Saturday I rented THE GUEST from The Redbox.  I wanted to watch GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY again, but nope...I went with THE GUEST.  It was pretty good.  And I hadn't seen it.
 [ As Dio Said, "Don't Talk To Strangers."  Don't Let Them Stay In Your House, Either ]
I took THE GUEST back on Saturday night and rented FINDERS KEEPERS.  I haven't seen a good killer doll movie in a while.  I guess I still haven't.  It was okay.  I didn't realize it was made for SyFy Channel.  I probably would have skipped it, had I known that...  But hey, hadn't seen it!  ;)

[ Chucky's Place In The Pantheon of Killer Dolls Is Still Pretty Safe ]

On Sunday morning I was looking for something to watch and DirecTV was offering a lot of classics I'd already seen.  Wait, what's that?  SNAKE EYES with Nicolas Cage?  Never saw it!  I guess we'll go with that...  Not bad.  But oh God.  So.  Much.  Overacting.

[ How The F*** Did This Guy Win A Best Actor Oscar? ]
Last night I was flipping through the guide and I saw the aforementioned ALIENS.  I saw CADDYSHACK.  I saw OVER THE TOP.  PREDATOR.  Jesus...  I want to watch ALL OF THESE MOVIES ZOMG!

I settled for DJANGO UNCHAINED.  Why?  Because I hadn't seen it.

[ The D Is Silent... ]
It's going to be a long year, but I think I can do this...

At least until Friday the 13th comes around and there's a marathon on!  Am I crazy?  We're about to find out...

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

October 1st, 2014 - The DAY OF DREDD! Oh, and also my birthday...

Greetings, citizens!  It's October 1st, 2014 -- The first annual DAY OF DREDD!

As you may or may not know, I'm a big Judge Dredd fan!  I have been ever since I first heard Anthrax's I AM THE LAW back in my early metal days and became enamored with 2000A.D.'s badass MegaCity MegaCop!

 [ Respect the badge!  He earned it with is blood!] 

Despite Sylvester Stallone's attempt to kill the franchise's film possibilities with JUDGE DREDD (1995), a new generation of moviegoers was treated to Karl Urban's far superior DREDD in 2012!  Unfortunately, despite amazing reviews, DREDD didn't perform very well at the Box Office.  It has, however, found new life on home video and streaming.

Is it enough for the studio to greenlight a sequel?  Sadly, not yet...


We want a DREDD Sequel, damn it!  What can we do about it?

1) Sign the DREDD Sequel Campaign Petition!
2) Join the "Make a DREDD Sequel Facebook Group!"
3) Follow @DreddSequel on Twitter!
4) Tweet with the #DayOfDredd hashtag!
5) Buy DREDD on Blu-Ray at (Just $7.88!) today!
6) Watch the movie on Amazon streaming or Netflix streaming today!

We can do this!  Let's go out there and make it happen!

Check out the DAY OF DREDD online coverage so far!


P.S.  It's my birthday.  If you won't do this for DREDD, do it as a gift for me!  ;)

Friday, November 15, 2013

Five (Or So) Ways To Fix Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

Everyone wants to like Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D, but people seem to be giving up on it in droves.  It's boring, they say.  It's not going anywhere, they say.  WHEN IS SOMETHING INTERESTING GOING TO HAPPEN FOR GOD'S SAKE??? they say.

Well, here are five (or so) ideas for spicing up the show before it gets cancelled like every other cool geek offering that has potential but can't seem to find an audience fast enough.

Let's start with...

1. Introduce An Evil Counter Agency - MI6 had SPECTRE. The FBI and CIA had the KGB. S.H.I.E.L.D. needs its A.I.M or its HYDRA.  Seriously.  There are no evil empires anymore.  This isn't the cold war of the 80's.  Without a persistent counter threat, who really cares what S.H.I.E.L.D does?  I don't.   A.I.M. was introduced in Iron Man 3 (albeit terribly).  Use them! 

Now that we have our A.I.M, start an arms race with them!  That would lead us to cool new gadgets.  Espionage.  Maybe even the Dreadnought -  A.I.M.'s killer robot sent to kill Nick Fury!  No way this thing is going to be used in any other Marvel movie, so why not break it out?  It's rad!

 [ Is it just me or does Nick Fury look kind of pale? ]

Speaking of the super powerful Dreadnought, why doesn't this show have any...

2. Super Villains - Where are they?  We already don't have a recognizable (or feared) counter agency, so WTF is S.H.I.E.L.D protecting us from?  How about some villains? There are thousands of them in the Mighty Marvel Universe that, like the Dreadnought, won't ever be used in a major Marvel film.  How about Hydro Man?  Whirlwind?  The (already used and still alive) Abomination?  The Blizzard?  Oooh...The Taskmaster!  Give the S.H.I.E.L.D team something cool and menacing to take down!

 [ He TASKS me!]

Why?  Because, hey, once we have Super Villains, we'd have to lock them in...

3. The Vault - Super villain prison extraordinaire!  Would make for an interesting base camp when they're not roaming around in the plane or messing with the Helicarrier. Lots of cool opportunities to introduce villains, do training and otherwise showcase the cool backstory of the Marvel mythos.  The place is cool!

And if you have the vault, you have...

4. The Guardsman -  We've got Iron Man.  That led us to Iron Patriot.  Shouldn't that lead us to The Guardsman?  Why not give one of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents the chance to don the Guardsman armor when the aforementioned super villains or Dreadnought shows up?  This S.H.I.E.L.D team needs some firepower to be relevant in a world that has Loki and other big bads in it.  This would be a way to give it to them! It worked on Deep Space Nine, right?  Can you say "Defiant?"
[ Iron who? ]

Which leads me to the final thing this show needs...

5. A Super Hero S.H.I.E.L.D Agent - Hawkeye and The Black Widow aren't available regularly because they are Avengers (and also too expensive to pay to be on a TV show)now, so why not introduce another super powered agent?  Dare I suggest...Spider Woman?  How cool would she be?  Pretty darned cool, methinks!  And, I know I sound like a broken record here, but there's no way she's ever going to get her own movie or T.V. show, so why not put her to good use?  Mix it up!

[ Because you KNOW they'd go with the black costume... ]

There you have it: five (or so) ways to spice up Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  The bottom line is, this thing has Marvel's name on it and it's trying to play off of the success of The Avengers.  That means you need to "supe" it up!  Pronto!

Get on it, Joss...before it's too late!