Thoughts On Superman: Man of Steel

It was recently announced that Zack Snyder would be helming the Superman franchise reboot for DC and Warner Bros. with Christopher Nolan producing... It seems like the movie franchise is finally in good hands for the first time since Richard Donner's original go of it in 1978!

Even more good news... After early reports and speculation from the movie going community, Snyder revealed today that General Zod as the new film's villain is "just a rumor." Good for you, Zack. That's a great step one!

You want my advice? No? Well here it is anyway...

Reboot means reboot. Superman: Man of Steel does NOT need General Zod. It does not need Lex Luthor as the main villain. It does not need to be a full origin story. In fact, it doesn't really need ANYTHING from the first 5 movies in the series.

With that in mind, here is how "I" would write the movie if he put me in charge of the script...

Superman would be very young...in his early to mid 20's. He would be leaving the Kent farm after a forgettable, sheltered youth with the intention of being Superman full time. While he is out patrolling for crime, there is an explosion at a LuthorCorp nuclear facility. A night janitor, caught in the explosion, is turned into the power sucking creature known as...The Parasite!


Superman battles with the Parasite and works with Star Labs to find a way to stop him while the two battle back and forth throughout the film. When Star Labs is stumped, Superman meets with Lex Luthor about the accident and the two develop a tense rivalry while working together to resolve the Parasite conundrum.

In the end, Superman and Lex Luthor defeat the Parasite. Despite Lex's help, Superman is left with a number of questions about Luthor and his company's dealings. He decides that in order to keep a closer eye on Luthor, he will resume his Clark Kent identity and become an investigative reporter for the Daily Planet.

The movie closes with Clark getting set up at his newsroom desk and being assigned to one of the Planet's best reporters to be shown the ropes. The last scene of the movie would be Lois Lane walking up and introducing herself to an instantly love struck Clark Kent. Roll Credits.

No rehashed villains. No origin story. No Kryptonite. Just a good old fashioned reboot... And the perfect setup for a romantic relationship based sequel featuring the development of the rivalry with Luthor and yet another new villain... Metallo, perhaps?

Zack Snyder, if you're reading this, I'll write the script for you...cheap! I'm not greedy. I'd just be excited to see a DC hero (other than Batman) finally get a just treatment in a Hollywood film. And who knows? If it works out, maybe I can tell you my idea for a Wonder Woman film sometime...

Good luck with Superman: Man of Steel, Zack! Up, up and AWAY!

Thundarr The Barbarian Released On DVD!

As some of you are probably aware, I own a little corner of the web dedicated to the old NBC Television cartoon series Thundarr The Barbarian. For about 10 years now, I've been petitioning Warner Bros. and Cartoon Network to release the series on DVD.

That day, it seems, has arrived!

[ Thundarr The Barbarian: The Complete Series DVD ]

Check it out: Thundarr The Barbarian on DVD : The Official Release From Warner Bros.

Just in time for my birthday! I personally thing WB should send me a copy for all of my Thundarr promotion over the years, but hey, who am I to complain? I'm just excited it's finally out!

Go snag a copy for your kids (who am I kidding, you want this bad boy for yourself!) today!

Ariel! Ookla! Riiiiiiide!

Rock & Roll Hall of Lame

There's a reason "Burn the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame to the ground" is in the Top 3 things on my Bucket List (after win the lottery and marry Kate Beckinsdale, not necessarily in that order). The whole thing just plain sucks...

[ Rock & Roll Hall of Flames ]

Year after year I watch undeserving, underwhelming acts and individuals make their way into the not so hallowed halls of this institutional mockery (this year's list of 2011 nominees is no exception).

Who am I referring to? Ladies and gentlemen, I give you a sampling of Rock & Roll Hall of LAMERS:

- Bonnie Raitt
- The Lovin' Spoonful
- Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five
- Brenda Lee
- The O'Jays

No, seriously. I'm not joking. Look it up. These are the best of the best. The cream of the crop. Hall of f'ing FAMERS!

Where is...?

- KISS - More Gold records than any group in HISTORY, including the Beatles. Gave AC/DC (Hall of Famers), Van Halen (Hall of Famers), Bon Jovi (HoF Nominees), Cheap Trick, Rush and Judas Priest (among others) their first opportunities as opening acts on their tours. The most visually recognizable band worldwide in history?

- Rush - Sales statistics place them third behind The Beatles and The Rolling Stones for the most consecutive gold or platinum studio albums by a rock band.

- Judas Priest - Ushered in the new wave of British hard rock/heavy metal. Pioneered the dual guitar attack in metal. Easily one of the most influential metal bands of the last 40 years.

- Motorhead - Without Motorhead (and Judas Priest), there is no Metallica, yet Metallica is sitting in the Hall of Lame. Motorhead are the pioneers of thrash metal.

- Pat Benetar - Who's more important to Rock...Pat Benetar or Brenda Lee? Brenda who? Exactly. If you grew up in the 70s and 80s, you knew an army of girls who wanted to BE Pat Benetar when they grew up.

But why stop there? What about Boston? Cheap Trick? Grand Funk Railroad? Bad Company? Foreigner? Def Leppard? Peter Frampton? Dio? Journey?

For God's sake, Alice Cooper is being nominated for the VERY FIRST TIME this year!

You see what I'm saying? Admit it...the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame is a joke.

But take heart, folks. One day, Ms. Beckinsdale and I will fly to Cleveland in our private jet and I will personally burn that motherf***er down. And when it's finished, I'm going to piss on the ashes...right where The Righteous Brothers exhibit used to be.

Count on it.

NEW Twitter Contest - Major League Baseball Themed Novels!

Along the same line as the previously posted NBA Themed Novels (hashtag #NBANovels), another (follow up) trending topic on Twitter recently was Major League Baseball themed novels! (hashtag #MLBNovels).

Once again, there were thousands of them submitted by Twitter users from all over the world!

Here are some of the best ones I saw...

=========================
FrankenSteinbrenner

War Of The World Series

Uncle Tommy John's Cabin

The Yount of Monte Cristo**

Broke Bat Mountain

The Joy of Sexson

The Lidges of Madison County

The Heart Is A Lonely Hunter Pence

Green Eggs And Hamilton

Catcher Gets An RBI

Uncle Tom's Glavine

Oliva Twist

The Grapes Of Werth

The Old Man And The Selig

Braves New World

The Day The Werth Stood Still

The Joy Kruk Club

For Whom The Beltran Tolls

The Reds Badge of Courage

Hart of Darkness*

A Tale of Twin Cities

The Tell-Tale Hart

Animal Farm Team

The Invisible Manny

The Island Of Dr. Morneau

How Stella Got Hargrove Back

The Scarlet Fetters

Mein Kemp

=========================
* Submittted By Me
** My Personal Favorite
=========================

Fun stuff!

If you're on Twitter, come follow me at http://www.twitter.com/kennhoekstra and/or http://www.twitter.com/FilmReviewIn140

Twitter Contest - NBA Themed Novels!

A trending topic on Twitter recently was NBA Themed Novels (hashtag #NBANovels). Over the course of the day, there were thousands of them submitted by Tweeps all over the world!

Here are some of the best ones that I saw flying by...

=========================
Pippen Longstocking

Dr J & Mr. Hyde

The Giving Tree Rollins

Artest of the D'Urbervilles

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix Suns

The Adventures of Huckleberry Finley

I'll Kill You For Mocking Bird*

The Raja Bell Jar

Oscar And Lew Alcindor*

Lebron James and the Giant Peach

Great ExpecTayshauns**

The Grapes of Shaq

Redd Badge of Courage*

Charlie Ward and the Chocolate Factory

A Passage To Indiana*

Majerle and Me

Kobe-Dick

Mein Schrempf

Spud's Webb

The Power And The Horry

Clyde And Prejudice

East of Oden

The Remains of Todd Day

East of Eaton

P.S. I Love Yao

Doc Rivers Runs Through It

War And Pierce

Diary of Anne Frank Brickowski

The Silence of the Laimbeers

One flew over the Kukoc Nets

All's Quiet In The Western Conference

=========================
* Submittted By Me
** My Personal Favorite
=========================

Fun stuff! Thought I'd share... Oh, and if you're on Twitter, come follow me at http://www.twitter.com/kennhoekstra and http://www.twitter.com/FilmReviewIn140

Popsicle Funnies - Kid Friendly Jokes

There's nothing quite like a funny, clean kid friendly joke, is there? I get a kick out of 'em... Here's a couple of gems inspired by the funnies printed on Pospicle sticks nowadays:

Q: What kind of car does an electrician drive?
A: A Volts-wagon!

Q: Which comic book hero lives in a pot?
A: Soup-erman!

Q: Why did the tree refuse to play Checkers?
A: Because it was a Chess-nut!

Q: What is E.T. short for?
A: Because he has tiny legs!

Q: Why was the computer cold?
A: It forgot to close its Windows!

Q: What do you call a row of dolls?
A: A Barbie-Queue!

Q: Where does the Easter Bunny get his breakfast?
A: IHOP!

And finally...

Q: Did you hear they found a cure for Swine Flu?
A: It's called Oinkment!

Wanna hear more? Follow me on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/kennhoekstra
Hashtag: #CleanJokes

Harden The Fuck Up!

Wusses. Pansies. Pussies. Whiners. Complainers. Crying, Emo, Milktoast "Oh Woe Is Me" Crybaby FML Douchebags. We see them. We know them. We loathe them...

I found the perfect gift for these so called "men." A desktop wallpaper for the ages to remind them that their itsy bitsy teenie weenie wittle pwobwems could be a just a tiny little bit fucking worse...

[ Click Image (or Here) For Full Size Version ]

If that doesn't work? There's always Man The Fuck Up Camp!

You're welcome...